You might be asking yourself... who even is this kid?!
A little intro about me...​
- 20 years old.
- half Spanish, half Czech.
- studying Business Management at a Spanish University.
- moved to England 5 years ago.
Well... ok... but... who AM I really?! Who AM I to come over here, with this girly barbie pink website, sparkles and my nagging on hEaLinG, and hyPnotHerApY, and the SubConSciOus?!
you want to hear the REAL STUFF...
- please, be my guest -
Well, let’s start by saying... this was me two years ago.
I had just chemically burned off my right cheek and my forehead while staying for a holiday at my grandparents’ in the Czech Republic. By then, I had been dealing for a year with a skin condition that had spread all over my body - my face included. I had reached such a low point in managing my skin condition that I thought burning it off would help. I was desperate.
But beneath this deformed flesh, other things were hiding...
No health. No social life. No exercise.
No good relationships, not even with my own family.
Depression. Self-hatred.
Paralysed by fear of the future.
No future plans. No job.
I had been doing well in life... with a promising future ahead of me...
I had even been accepted to the University of Bath
something I had been dreaming of forever.
And I rejected the idea of Uni because of my health issues
Life had never seemed more gloomy to me
Of course, this one was one of the lower moments I lived during those times.
In those two years, there were times when it improved & there were times it got really bad. Times where I did not want to be here. My mother started sleeping with me... to keep an eye on me. We were both searching for help. I wanted to know what was wrong with me.
I felt empty. I felt abandoned. There were days my mum took me from one mental health charity to another to get someone to talk to me... we even started discussing psychiatric medication with some professionals...
And somehow I knew that that wouldn’t solve the deep emptiness I was feeling inside... but still, I kept on dwelling on it.
until I didn't
Until I understood that it was MY responsibility to get out of the hellhole I had created for myself. But how? ... cause my reality was looking so miserable...
And so my journey began.
And it started by celebrating Christmas without giving my thoughts any attention.
My only purpose became this for two weeks:
SIMPLY, BREATHE.
I would simply EXIST. One moment after another.
That, in itself, was enough.
breathe in...
breathe out...
breathe in...
breath out...
I chose to take all the attention away from my thoughts, my emotions and the narrative that I was feeding myself - something I now know we call “dissociation” in hypnotherapy - and I gave myself a break from myself.
I focused my attention on just existing, on observing my thoughts, my interactions, my emotions... I started viewing every house chore as a sacred ritual - something I would later understand is what they call “mindfulness”.
My parents were kind enough to give me time and space to read... read on healing the mind, on healing the body and the soul. Healing myself turned into my main quest.
I slowly started showing kindness to myself, I learned that I always had a choice, in everything - a choice to experience joy, to experience sadness, to experience connection, love...
Slowly, slowly... I started seeing the emerging path ahead of me...
and I chose to believe
I wanted to understand how else I could help myself... which lead me to invest in a 8-month long Hypnotherapy course in London.
I learned to go for
A LOT of walks
I meditated,
daily
- which is basically self-hypnosis -
And, of course,
I have met the most amazing, inspirational, calm, trustworthy people I could ever ask for.
I have met my best friend, an empathetic, kindhearted, supportive, soul-led woman.
I have started my first ever official relationship.
I have healed my relationship with both my parents.
I have been exercising daily for almost 10 months now.
I have reconnected with my grandparents and I went to visit them for 10 days this summer.
- since then... my Life is turning into a blessing-
I laugh fully. I feel and connect deeply with my surroundings.
I allow myself to express fully. I am not afraid of my emotions.
I go for daily walks and always touch some grass.
I am excited about life. I feel calm about life. I am in love with life.
I know I am the creator of my own luck and I act like it.
​
LIFE IS NOT PERFECT & I DO NOT EXPECT IT TO BE.
BUT LIFE IS GOOD. AND THAT'S AMAZING. : )
My burns have healed amazingly & my skin condition is going away from the different parts of my body ... : )
and if this is not change, I don't know what IS!
All because I believed it was possible.
All because I believed in the power of my choices.
All because I trusted in the changes that working with the subconscious could bring.
So I hope you can at least take this one thing from here with you...
,it really is <3
change IS POSSIBLE
The darkness always passes, and the light comes back
- Khaled Hosseini
With love,
​
Teresa.